It is time for me to start writing again. This is important to my sanity and in preparation of starting school later this month. In conjunction with blogging, I will also pick up on my novel. Though the story has sat on the burner for a while, its my story, it’s exciting, and I really want to see what happens next. I will also eventually pen my delivery story. Some have heard it but I think the only person who knows the true emotions I went through is my mister and even then only in part.
I struggle daily with a lack of routine. There are so many variables but it mostly depends on how much sleep I get and if my mister is home to help, which is inconsistent and unpredictable. I am lucky to have outside support on the week days just in case I find myself overwhelmed. I am hoping that incorporating writing back into my life will help in this aspect.
I am not accustomed to the sedentary lifestyle. It drives me mad. I fear this might have already caused an extended recovery time. I am trying to be better about limiting my activities. Housework and raising a three year old are still priorities as they go hand in hand. I guess I am just avoiding long walks and working out of any kind. As most new moms might, I find my postpartum body disgusting and have started honing in my nutrition to at least feel productive in getting my body back.
Breastfeeding my newest little is a life in itself. Typing one handed at the moment while she sleepily nurses is both a struggle and reward. My little miss gets more chunky everyday and it warms my heart that she is so healthy.
My oldest struggles to find his place in this new normal and in his role as Big Brother. Some days are good and he is super sweet and loving to his sister and other days he lacks the patience to wait for mommy to finishing caring for Sister. This has caused me a lot of guilt and if I had to admit it, difficult for me to adjust to as well. I love my son so dearly that I hate to see him struggle so much. I am generally happy, but this one subject pulls tears to my eyes every time.
I am lucky to have a very patient husband. I want him to be happy but if he utters the words “I’m tired.” around me one more time I might very well make his life the equivalent to what I experience daily, including the chronic pain of being post op.
There are many other subjects that I plan on focusing on in the future like preschool, what’s for dinner, new short fiction, and book updates. My goal is to write 4 days a week at least while my son is in preschool. I appreciate everyone that reads as this is my support system and motivation, so please let me know that you do.
My newest addition: