Six Facts Sunday- Domestic Violence-Please Share!! It could save a life.

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Today’s facts are not happy ones, but they are true to far more women than should be. Domestic violence is “violent or aggressive behavior within the home, typically involving abuse of a spouse  or partner” is the google definition. For some reason, this very clear explanation comes with some grey areas that I want cleared up.

  1. NO ONE deserves to be hit, manipulated or forced to remain in a situation that is unhealthy. If you would not want your daughter in the situation, you need to get help.
  2. These are some signs that someone is being abused.
    1. they are afraid of their partner or are anxious to please them
    2. stops seeing friends and family or cuts phone conversations short
    3. their partner often critizes them in front of others
    4. they are forced by their partner to do sexual things
    5. their partner controls the money in the relationship
    6. they might mention their partners temper, jealousy or possessiveness
    7. they become depressed, lose their confidence are very withdraw or anxious
    8. they have physical injuries with unlikely explanations
    9. if they leave for any amount of time for any reason, the partner constantly calls, harasses, or follows them
  3. What can I do as a friend? BE SUPPORTIVE. Judgement and criticism will discourage a person from opening up and being honest. Understand that it may seem like a private matter, but your support can make a difference. To suspect and do nothing fosters far worse consequences.
    1. Listen to what they have to say
    2. Believe what they tell you
    3. Take the abuse seriously
    4. Help them recognize the abuse
    5. Let them know how incredibly brave they are. They need confidence in themselves, now more than ever. THE ABUSE IS NOT HER FAULT!
    6. Help them protect themselves
    7. Discuss what they can do and offer practical assistance
    8. Respect their right to make decisions
    9. Maintain regular contact with them
  4. They might stay for a number of reasons. Mostly they love the person they are with. They might be afraid of what would happen to them if they leave. They are scared of getting into legal trouble. They might stay because they have all the same mutual friends and they feel there is no safe place for them to go. Understand there is nothing wrong with her and it is not her fault if she has not left. It is possible that she has been manipulated to think that she could not make it without her partner they are stupid and worthless to everyone because of past decisions she has made. These are lies.
  5. What can they do? For anonymous confidential help 24/7 anyone can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 as soon as they can. They can just ask for advice and will not be forced into anything. They can request information as well. They can also call 911 anytime they feel in danger, even if the abuse happened the day before.
  6. People die from domestic violence. This horrifying fact has wrecked my world. I wish I had known the signs and knew she was reaching to me for help before the worst occurred. I will not stand by and let it happen again to someone I love. So if you are reading this and I have described your current relationship even just a little, PLEASE reach out to me or anyone else, call the number above, please get help. You deserve to be happy and feel safe and loved.
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5 thoughts on “Six Facts Sunday- Domestic Violence-Please Share!! It could save a life.

  1. 7th fact: domestic violence against women is underreported too, but domestic violence against men is underreported and absolutely skewed to look relatively non-existent. “battered men” have nowhere to go and no one to call. they dont have shelters, they cant trust the police, and so on. plus, the have all the same problems that battered women have. so please let me fix this paragraph for you, because this isnt a joke:

    “They might stay for a number of reasons. Mostly they love the person they are with. They might be afraid of what would happen to them if they leave. They are scared of getting into legal trouble. They might stay because they have all the same mutual friends and they feel there is no safe place for them to go. Understand there is nothing wrong with THEM and it is not THEIR fault if THEY have not left. It is possible that THEY are manipulated to think that THEY could not make it without THEIR partner they are stupid and worthless to everyone because of past decisions THEY have made. These are lies.”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I tried to keep it gender neutral but it was a very pointed and deliberate massage to one person in particular.

      I will edit to maintain consistency. I just let my emotions take hold of my writing. You are absolutely right.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. thank you for understanding. believe me i appreciate the personal nature of your message, and if you wanted to leave it as-is for that purpose, i wouldnt quibble over the specific example.

        in general i speak out against gendered domestic abuse articles because the general population seems to think domestic abuse is male-to-female with so few exceptions that it doesnt matter. this just so far off; theres female-to-male, female-to-female, and of course male-to-male (but still no where for the male victim to go.) and women simply do all the terrible things that men do, in whatever proportion to the male population: lie, cheat, take drugs, steal, abuse, murder, perjure. pretending (as a society– not you) that this is some kind of unicorn leaves real violence unchecked and made into mythology. or worse, we pretend that all of it is self-defense. (and some of it is, but self-defense is uphill for anyone.) if i were trying to cure society of this, i would spend a little more effort on prevention and places for people to run to with no questions asked.

        Liked by 1 person

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